Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Blogger wa Ushago na Nyege za Kamuti

Nimekubali kuchukua ile challenge ya Msee moja anaji-label Augeusi ya kuchora ninii ya sheng. Kwanza nilipoa kwa keja yangu huku Embu nikiwaza vile nita chora hii ninii. Kwanza nilifikiria eti nitawa con na kutumia google lakini google translater haina translator ya Sheng.
Kwa hivyo nimechora haka ka-risto niliskia juzi nikiwaka kwa maskan ile napoa nikitokea job.
Hii storo ilitokea wakati tulianza kudiscuss zile mambo za uchawi ile imetokea kwa machuo za ma-dame uko coasto na western na mori wengine kwa club. Mi husema hizo storo za uchawi na kamuti ni vako lakini wakati nilijaribu kuwashow hivyo niliambiwa eti uchawi ni real na nikicheza especially na kao wa Kitui nitakuta nimewekewa kamuti.

Hi risto ni ju ya ka manzi kengine ka primo. Hako ka manzi kalizua wazimu kwa chuo eti kuna ma-spirit ya chali mwingine, eti zinamdara kwa sehemu zake za siri na zilikuwa zina munyonya matiti. Yaani yuyo mshee alikuwa anapiga nduru akiscream jina ya chali na akijaribu kutoa nguo kwa daro na kulala kwa floor ya daro akiwa amepanua (katika position ya missionary!). Wakati niliuliza kwa nini alikuwa anamskia huyo charlie hivyo, niliambiwa walikuwa na ubeshte naye lakini maparo walizua noma na chali aka katazwa kumkatia hako ka dame. Wakati maparo wa ka manzi waliitwa chuo na mtichee badala ya kumpeleka kwa psychiatrist au kwa pastor eti walimpeleka kwa mchawi mwingine wa nguvu huko Kiambeere. Huyo mchawi aliwaambia eti ka dame kao kame wekewa kamuti na huyo charlie, na wakitaka kutoa hizo mademons ni lazima wa bambe huyo chali na wamfinye mpaka atoe hizo kamuti.
Kile kilinishtuwa ni eti wasee wa kijiji walibamba huyo chali na wakanza kumtoture ili atoe zile kamuti, ilibidi chali apige mbiyo na kujificha kwa makarao ili wa mprotect. Mpaka sasa huyo jamaa hawezi kurudi hii mtaa.


Kweli bado huku ocha nilazima ujichunge wakati una katia ma damu kwa sababu kaki kunoki hautaweza kujitoa hapo na ukijaribu kumhepa au akikatazwa na buda utashtuka kuambiwa eti kamezua noma za kamuti.
Kwa maoni yangu hako manzi hakua na problem yeyote ya kamuti ama kurogwa, kile kilikuwa kinamsumbua ni Nyege nyingi pekee. Ama ni aje?

17 comments:

egm said...

Na maristo kikwetu hapa kbdab zimejaa kabisa! Bantuts ni lazima awe anapiga tabasamu moja noma sana vile alikam, akacheki, akakonka.

Eh, yaani dame alijifanya ili jamaa ajiget shidani? Naye kwa kweli mshee mmoja no-joke.

Komi said...

Ai, hii sheng' ni mateso bila chuki lakini nimenyita story...

Ninakufeel kabisa-huyo dame alikuwa na njaro zake, hakuna kamuti ilikuwa inamsumbua. Napata ideas pia....si lazima iwe ni story ya ocha, ama?

Anonymous said...

#2 yaani..
Enyewe apo mi siaminingi madiago za uchawi na sijui nini.. Zii Aziwagi!!
Mi nanego kaa wewe ati mroro aliwaku na mambehes zake...
Yumbus iyo yako ni mano... nakuwai ka twedi six (26%) D- ivi ivi.. yako saa ata si sheng sanifu kaa Methu.. yako ni sheng kisapere....

Unknown said...

Now that mission is accomplished I can stop this toture and go back to english.
@egm, She was a true drama queen and anyone had better keep off this chick dee.
@Komi, I think it was just a case of a randy teenage girl whose rampant hormones got the better of her. Any topic will do.
@Sue, ati 26% me thinks thats excellent I didn't even think I could do 2 sentences. I believe in withcraft as much as I believe in Aliens.

Anonymous said...

asiiii..hiyo ni case ya nyege mob bila doubt.aii kirima-"ona we??"

Unyc said...

Hizo ni nyege. Kwani Uchawi inafanya upanue miguu bure...bilaz!

Kirima umejaribu...wachana na marking scheme ya Sue. Odijo mstrict sana...

Anonymous said...

Sue, nani ali-kuauthorise marking scheme? Eeee? Wapi ninii yako ili tuikague? Chindwe!

Kirima ii ninii nimeiscope nikailike kiasi. Uko best kwa lugha kikwetu kiBantutu! !100% ata kama Tsu ata-dai otha-wise.

Hizo ni exhibishionism kwa wingi. Kutaka watdhii wamcheki aki-operate ticle and you dont stop! Heheheheh!

Klara said...

Makofi Kwako!! Umejaribu yenyewe wachana na Sue!!! Lakini aiiii! Ona Bantush Kando!hi!hi!hi!
Hiyo storo ya huyo mshie ni hilarious kweli! Huyu alikuwa amenoki mbaya!

bantutu said...

Soooo virusi vimetamba mpaka huku eh? Kirima sii risto yako ni sawa....nyege zimechizisha mshe anadai juju? Kamutii saa ngapee!! Ati anapanua ki-mishoneri ama ki-mishoni heheheh!! Ni sawa...Umejimudu...
Ungem:Nimechapa smyle ya mwezi!! Heheheh!!
Yani Dorcas ni beshte yako!!
Ii ni mara ya nne!!

Farmgal said...

ai saa ii sheng yako its not only old skool its OLD SKOOL naona tuko wengi wa them days...

io story....mmmmh no comment

How's tha village nyhoo?

mama shady said...

@farmgal:ive chekad youre comment.lakini if its OLD school tuko wengi!kirima, good one!storos of majujus..sijui niseme!ata mi nilijaribu kutafuta mavitu kwa google.rummbish kweli!it did not help very much!

Juju said...

at least yours is old school... let us see how well I can polish mine... ur vibe is most timam!

Anonymous said...

Watu wakinyegezana lazima wafunze wenzio kupiga nyeto. Ama maybe huyo dame alikuwa ana smile na niniii.

Unknown said...

@betty, No doubt it was randiness, Not me it was just a story I heard :)
@Unyc, Thanks but I don't think I'll try again
@Methu, Asante the challenge was a thrill I enjoyed the ride.
@Klara, Thanx, Nitamcheki soon.
@Bantutu, Kweli hakuna juju hapo just malovings in excess
@Farmgal, Dont worry I'm leaving it to the experts! The village is rocking with all these storos of jujus, I'm perplexed.
@Mama Shady, Karibu kwangu can someone develop a translator for sheng for us who ar unendowed with the garb.
@Majonzi, Utaweza just give it a shot you might surprise yourself.
@Bomseh, Ati ana smile hihihi

gishungwa said...

hiyo so kamuti hiyo no ile wanaita hysteria in other words taki. Either adarwe ama achpwe slap atakuwa poa treatment fiti sana ten hizo ni njaro za hae esp machuo za masmata.

Unknown said...

@gish, My sentiments exactly

Anonymous said...

Good Job! :)

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