The Champions

My Hats off to these boys for making me proud!

My Heartfelt condolences for families and friends of the passangers fo flight KQ 507 May the lord give you strength through this difficult period.

Facing My Ghosts

Ouch!!! Did I do that?

Today I am in a reflective mood, Its Labour day no work and it being a Tuesday makes it totally useless since I can't do much rather than lounge in the house and reflect on my experiences over the last year. One experience that has stood up in my recent past is when I was struck by the ghost of bad luck and ended up raming my precious auto on a stuborn tree.

The Red Circle indicates where my house is.

It happened on one of those long weekends when a public holiday falls on a Monday (now thats the connection with my current thoughts!) I was coming back to Embu after having a splendid time in Nairobi which involved a drive down to Olepolos to devour some prime goat ribs. Having set of pretty early I was in Embu by 4:00 PM and was looking forward to relaxing after the hectic weekend in my house.
Around 20 Metres from my driveway I veered slightly off the middle of the murram road leading to my house and suddenly I felt the tyres near the edge of the road begin to spin on the loose surface, because of the unequal traction on the left and right wheels the car started swinging uncontrollable as I tried to correct the direction with the steering wheel. I know from prior experience that applying emergency brakes on such a loose surface or when in a skid is a recipe for disaster so I had to try and regain control. Unfortunately on both sides of the road were closely spaced rows of trees and before I knew it I had collided head first with one of those trees. I think this all happened in all of 2 seconds. Fortunately I was moving at fairly slow speed not more than 20 KPH since I was already inside the company premises and I managed to escape unscathed just slighly shaken (Thank god for Airbags). The car on the other had ended up with a thoroughly disfigured front end which actually looked much worse than it actually was.

Front end in desparate need of a 'Nose job'

As I reflect on this mishap which is the closest I have ever come to meeting my maker I made a few observations.

• You don't have to be drunk to cause accidents; It annoys me to no end when people rush to assume that when you have an accident that you must have been drunk, In this instance I was as sober as judge which is what I ussually am whenever I drive long distances.
• You don't have to drive fast to have an accident; Another assumption people make is that you have to be speeding to loose control I will have you know that a half tone saloon moving at 20 KPH will do untold damage when in comes across an immovable object such as a tree or wall if it meets you head on at that speed trust me we shall be discussing you in past tense.
• Accidents don't always happen far away; I was only 20 metres from my house I find it amusing when people tell you that they only need to wear seat belts on long journeys, Kwani it's OK to die when you are near home? Nowadays even when going for a packet of milk at the duka I belt up.
• Insurance Pays; I was always skeptical about the need to pay insurance and agreed with those who said that 'Insurance is like an umbrella on a sunny day which is taken away when it's raing' well I was forced to eat my words since I had only just paid my first premium on that car and yet they were able to finance the total repair on the car and it actually looks better than new.
• Automatic transmission is crap on offroad; I was all praise for my automatic transmission until this mishap although I have no way of proving it I'm pretty sure that if I had my trusty stick shift I would have been able to bring the beast under control.
• Murram is a whole different ball game; when you driving surface resembles small ball bearings anything you try and do with your steering will be like running on an Ice rink with high heeled shoes.
• Nose Jobs don't only refer to plastic surgery; while consulting with my mechanics on the repairs I learnt new terminologies such as Nose-cuts, Half-cuts which are not the preserve of cosmetic surgeons but refer to the art of removing the entire front of the car and replacing it leaving your car looking like new. It will now take a very meticulous fella to detect that my car had such a disfiguring accident.

I hope now after this reflection I can now look back at this incident and be able to laugh.

Now on to more pressing matters. Man U tomorrow meet up with AC Milan for Semi of the Champions league. Now that we almost have the league sawn up I a have kazaad my butt for the game cos if we do it will probably set up the momentum for the treble I can hardly wait. Good luck to the Liverpool tonight and lots of Luck to Arsenal on Sunday as you can see I am in generous spirits even though there is a glimmer of selfishness inherent (Hehehe...)

Mind Your Language.

Why do we as Kenyans so hung up on peoples accent until our entire comedy industry is based on just merely mimicking accents from different communities around the country. I have always wondered if Kenyans have got a unique Kenyan accent like South Africans, Nigerians or Ugandans that is because we are so diverse. Even for a city born person like me I find myself occassionally slipping in a kimeru shrub once in a while. Whenever I go upcountry my cousins and aunties are always teasing me on my pathetic mothertounge which I keep on mixing up with Kikuyu. Many times we try and guess where people come from by how they speak but with all the intermarriages and a generation that can barely speak their mother tounges I forsee that ability to differentiate kenyans slowly disappearing.

I got this forward from my bro' which made me laugh!
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English.

• "In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c" . Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
• There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
• In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
• By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
• During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi blriten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza.

e drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted inze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl

How Rich are You?

I used to think that I was very poor, but after visiting this website I had to change my mind. Just try it yourself by entering your annual salary and see where you lie in the global rich list.

Definetely food for thought!

Kenyan Ethnic Montage

In the last 2 weeks I have had to defend twice myself from accusations that as a person from the slopes of Mt. Kenya I must be one of the people who are the “eating” and that we are members of a certain infamous Mafia. I would normally take great exception to such notions since there is no evidence whatsoever that I have personally benefited in an extraordinary way as a result of my ethnic heritage but since it is the nature of Kenyans these days to label persons due to where they come from I can only rack my brains and try and understand why?
It bothers me why it is that we are so quick to stereotype the negatives about certain ethnic communities while there is all evidence that any vice or unfavourable trait is evenly distributed in the population. Does it mean that there are no positive attributes in other communities which we do not come from?
It is with this background that I wish to share this Montage that I came across which extols some positive values of a few Kenyan communities. I hope I don’t offend any one out there because I believe in the saying that “If you cannot laugh at yourself then you should not laugh at others”

The Perfect Kenyan should have:

• The Entrepreneurship of a Kikuyu
• The Sophistication of a Luo
• The Perseverance of a Kamba
• The Eloquence of a Mswahili
• The Generosity of a Nandi
• The Honesty of a Luhya
• The Courage of a Maasai
• The Contentedness of a Meru
• The Wit of a Mtaita
• The Fleet foot of a Kalenjin

There are no doubt many other positive things we could share with each other because all this bits and pieces from all the different communities are what make up the collective Kenyan Identity.

On a lighter note here is the Montage of a Perfect Kenyan Woman

The Ultimate Kenyan Mama should have:

• The Lustrous Hair of a Somali
• The Radiant Face of a Borana
• The Bountiful Thighs of a Luhya
• The Generous Booty of a Luo
• The Scintillating Hips of a Kamba
• The Determined Confidence of a Kikuyu
• The Patient Loyalty of a Meru
• The Mouthwatering Cooking skills of a Mswahili
• The Cool Demenour of a Nandi
• The Flawless complexion of a Taita
• The Elegant Poise of a Maasai

If there is one out there with all these qualities please Holla!!

Tweaking

Caelai sai o ai eis talaer Cosostae
Sor air ei vyr ail si Aelor Jhalendri
ailosaer shia si Jhys os Si Vol

Hello to you all my name is Kirima
This post is written in elvish
Inspired by the Lord of Rings

I have just finished tweaking my template to suit my favorite theme which is inspired by The Lord of the Rings Trilogy which counts as my favorite movie. (I actually own the Extended Edition 12 disk Boxset) I thought of frustating all my readers by doing the entire post in Elvish or even worse in Tengwar the Elven script used by Tolkien in his books but mercifully I do not have the patience of painstakingly translating them word by word nor am I that Evil.
After a hard evenings work I must now retire to my quiet peaceful home for 'dinner' then 'supper' (not as peaceful as the Shire)

"One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them

One Ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them"

Ten Ways to Marry the Wrong Person

Someone sent me an email message recently which covers several mistakes persons make in looking for a partner. I am certainly not an expert in these delicate matters and I still have a long way to learn but seeing that in the past weeks I have come across these 2 posts on what Women want and what men want I thought I should post this email as well just to add some fuel on the fire. It is rather lengthy but I didn't want to dilute the content by editing it so here goes:

Disclaimer: This is not an original post so I shall not be held responsible for the views contained within nor shall I be liable for any breakups or dissolutions of marriage that may arise from reading the following post - kirima ;-)

For my brothers and sisters who are in the process of finding a marriage partner and for those of us in this noble institution, this is for you.
With the divorce rate over 50%, too many are apparently making a serious mistake in deciding whom to spend the rest of their life with. To avoid becoming a "statistic," try to internalizethese 10 insights.

1. You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after you're married. The classic mistake! NEVER MARRY POTENTIAL!! The Golden Rule is, if you can't be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don't get married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, "You actually can expect people to change after their married...for the worst!" So when it comes to the other person's spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills, and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now.


2. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character. Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character keeps it burning. Beware of the "I'm in love" syndrome. "I'm in love" often means, "I'm in lust." Attraction is there, but have you carefully checked out this person's character? Here are four characteristics to definitely check for:
   Humility: Does this person believe that "doing the right thing" is more important than personal comfort?
   Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people? How does s/he treat people s/he doesn't have to be nice to? Does s/he do volunteer work? Give to charity?Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do what s/he says s/he's going to do?
   Happiness: Does this person like himself? Does s/he enjoy life? Is s/he emotionally stable? Ask yourself: Do I want to be more like this person? Do I want to have a child with this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?


3. You choose the wrong person because you do not share a common life goal and priorities. There are three basic ways we connect with another person: a) Chemistry and compatibility b) share common interests c) share common life goal. Make sure you share a deeper level of connection that sharing life goals provide. After marriage, the two of you will either grow together or grow apart. To avoid growing apart, you must figure out what you're living for while you are single-and then find someone who has come to the same conclusion as you. This is the true definition of a soul mate. A soul mate is a goal mate....two people who ultimately share the same understanding of life's purpose and therefore sharethe same priorities, values and goals.


4. You pick the wrong person because you do not have deeper emotional connection. To evaluate whether you have a deeper emotional connection or not, ask: "Do I respect and admire this person?" This does not mean, "Am I impressed by this person?" We are impressed by a Mercedes. We do not respect someone because they own a Mercedes. Yes, you should be impressed by qualities of creativity, loyalty, determination, etc but do youactually respect and admire this person who possesses these qualities? Also ask: "Do I trust this person? " his also means, "Is he/she emotionally stable? Do I feel I can rely on him/her?


5. You pick the wrong person because you choose someone with whom you don't feel emotionally safe. Ask yourself the following questions: Do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person? Can I fully be myself and express myself with this person? Does this person make me feel good about myself? Do you have a really close friend who does make you feel this way? Make sure the person you marry makes you feel the same way! Are you afraid of this person in any way? You should not feel you need to monitor what you say because you are afraid of how the other person will view it. If you're afraid to express your feelings andopinions openly, there's a problem with the relationship. Another aspect of feeling safe isthat you don't feel the other person is trying to control you. Controlling behaviors are a sign ofan abusive person. Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you. There is a big difference between "controlling" and "making suggestions. " A suggestion is made for your benefit; a control statement is made for their benefit.


6. You pick the wrong person because you don't put everything on the table.Anything that others you about the relationship must be brought up for discussion. Bringing up the uncomfortable stuff is the only way to evaluate how well the two of you communicate, negotiate, and work together. Over the course of a lifetime, difficulties will inevitably arise. You need to know now, before making a commitment: Can you resolve your differences and findcompromises that work for both of you? Never be afraid to let the person know what bothers you. This is also a way for you to test how vulnerable you can be with this person. If you can't be vulnerable, you can't be intimate. The two go hand in hand.


7. You pick the wrong person because you use the relationship to escape from personal problems and unhappiness. If you are unhappy and single, you'll probably be unhappy and married, too. Marriage does not fix personal, psychological and emotional problems. If anything, marriage will exacerbate them. If you are not happy with yourself and your life, takeresponsibility to fix it now while you are single. You'll feel better and your future spouse will thank you.


8. You choose the wrong person because you get involved sexually too quickly. This can be a big problem because it often precludes a fully honest exploration of important issues. Sexual involvement tends to cloud one's mind. And a clouded mind is not inclined to make good decisions. It is not necessary to "test drive" in order to find out if a couple are sexually compatible. If you do your homework and make sure you are intellectually and emotionallycompatible, you don't have to worry about sexual compatibility. Of all the studies on divorce, sexual incompatibility is never cited as a main reason why people divorce.


9. You pick the wrong person because the man doesn't understand what a woman needs most. Men and women have unique emotional needs and more often than not, it is the man who just doesn't get it. Jewish tradition places the onus on the man to understand the emotionalneeds of the woman and to satisfy them. The unique need of a woman is to be loved. -To feel that she is the most important person in her husband's life. The husband needs to give her consistent, quality attention. This is most apparent is Judaism's approach to sexual intimacy. The Torah obligates the husband to meet the sexual needs of his wife. Sexual intimacy isalways on the woman's terms. Men are goal oriented especially when it comes to this area. As a wise woman once pointed out, "Men have two speeds: on and off." Women are experience oriented. When a man is able to switch gears and become more experience-oriented , he will discover what makes his wife very happy. When the man forgets about his own needs and focuses on giving his wife pleasure, amazing things will happen.


10. You pick the wrong person because he/she is involved in a triangle. To be "triangulated" means a person is emotionally dependent on someone or something else while trying to develop another relationship. A person who hasn't separated from his or her parents is a classic example of triangulation. People can also be triangulated with things as well,such as work, drugs, Internet, hobbies, sports or money. Be careful that you and your partner are free of triangles. The person caught in a triangle cannot be fully emotionally available to you. You'll not be their number one priority. And that's no basis for a marriage.
    
    Ability is what you're capable of doing....... ......
    Motivation determines what you do.......... .........Attitude determines how well you do it!KNOW HIM/HER WELL B4 U DECIDE

No. 9 Now thats why Jewish guys are so in demand :-)